


The Boy and His Fears

by Imsuchaweeb



Series: Black Butler oneshots [3]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Character Study, Emotional Manipulation, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 09:09:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12454146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imsuchaweeb/pseuds/Imsuchaweeb
Summary: Ciel wonders about his fears.





	The Boy and His Fears

Everyday I awake to the demon beside me. With his cold eyes and cruel mouth. He says he will obey me. But it's all a farce. He says I am his master. But I know better. I wanted my revenge but was it all worth the pain? With my contract and the people I've lost. The people I've loved and cared for. He doesn't care. He pushes me on. He's suffocating me. I'm drowning in my sins. I'm haunted by the people I've killed. My father. My mother. My brother. My night terrors awaken me, screaming. I'm afraid of him. I'm afraid of what he's doing to me. What he's forcing me to become. But most of all I'm afraid of myself. The blood staining my hands won't go away. The screams of the departed won't leave my mind. I see my brother's face. He says he'll protect me. That I'm safe with him. He welcomes me into an embrace. But then he too is torn away from me. Taken by a beast wearing the mask of my father. I am left alone with no one but a beast as my companion. I can sense he's hungry. Just a bit longer and I will exist no longer. Then a miracle happens. My brother has come back from the dead. But he is not the same person I once knew. Those eyes that once looked at me with warmth are now cold. Just like the demon's. My brother hates me too. He's abandoned me. To him, I'm worth saving no longer. The cold realization is like a stab to the back. Now I truly am all alone. Everyone has left me for someone better. The true Earl Ciel Phantomhive. I am a human being no longer. My mask has broken. My emotions show clear as day. I'm scared. Please don't let me be ignored again. Please don't hurt me again. The demon is confused for a moment. He looks at me. He looks at Ciel. My brother. The king. But then he smiles, fangs gleaming. He didn't expect two meals for all his hard work. My brother smiles too. Not at me but at the demon. Then I realize, they too have harbored a hatred for me for as long as time began. As they both advance toward me, I face my fears head on. I'm a lier. I'm a fake. A phoney mockery of the real thing. But I am still strong. I am still me. I am a Phantomhive. And I shall face my demise with dignity.


End file.
